As our children grow, they will be faced with occasions where their beliefs and behaviour are questioned. Their peers will take every opportunity to comment and make fun of any differences they show during their schooling years.
When children move on to adult hood, the decisions and choices they make in life will begin to affect their future. They may not always be successful in everything they attempt, and they will neither like, nor be liked by everyone they meet. Not being liked by everyone is a fact of life that need not hinder them in becoming the best person they can be..
As parents we need to try and model the type of behaviour that will help them to remain confident and steadfast with a healthy self esteem. We also need to model honesty, consistency and integrity in all that we do and say, to instil the importance of these traits in our children.
Information Overload – Don’t Believe Everything You Hear…
Or read for that matter, take the time to do some research and find out whether or not you are being told the truth. Even if you hear something from what you believe to be a trusted source – know that nobody is infallible – even when well meaning, and that ignorance is no excuse for you to make a poor decision. Teach your child to make empowered decisions and to form opinions based on the truth - show him the tools that he or she can use to find factual information.
Research is so easy for all of us; we have so many resources readily available...
Word of mouth - ask your friends, family and acquaintances use their experience and knowledge to help guide you.
Inside information - Look up companies and people who may know more on the topic and ask them for more details.
Your own personal life experience – learn to trust yourself and your own gut instinct when making a final decision.
Knowledge is power - the power to make informed decisions based on your research, your own life experience and your judgment is invaluable.
Don’t simply agree with something because you were told it – use your brains and find out the truth, there is no excuse for ignorance with so many forms of information media at our fingertips.
Be True To Yourself - Don't Be A 'Yes' Person...
Establish yourself as a good honest, reliable person in all that you do - decide what traits are important to you in a person, and be that person. You don’t need to be liked by everyone, as long as you have personal integrity in all that you say and do. Being true to yourself and presenting an accurate representation of your beliefs and opinions to the world will draw like-minded people to you. Many people do anything to get attention, and get their family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances on their side – this short term fix can be quite damaging.
Poor decisions that people make in order to be popular...
Follow blindly – in order to please other’s and be accepted, people put aside their own belief system and either follow the leader, or the pack.
Being two faced – saying one thing and doing another, pretending to be a friend only to learn secrets about someone. Even if you say nice things and only think bad things that contradict this, you are still lying. Lying becomes a habit, and lying to yourself promotes unhealthy inner dialog, and low self esteem.
Gossiping – it becomes a habit, and usually involves divulging other people’s secrets, telling stories that aren’t substantiated, and trying to influence other people. Eventually, nobody will trust you, and you will be ostracised - even by people who care for you.
Attention seeking - being a drama queen about all life's ups and downs - even living your life through other people's dramas in an effort to be noticed.
Lying about yourself - making up stories to make you seem more interesting, or outright lies to make you seem nicer. The truth always surfaces, be yourself, if that isn't good enough for someone else; it is your lucky escape, and their loss.
Essentially people who are displaying the above-mentioned traits are fake; and real people can only be fooled for so long. They are neither being true to themselves of their friends, family, colleagues or acquaintances. It is very unhealthy, as it causes inner stress and it can lead to a lot of heart ache. People make some very silly decisions when they are caught in this situation, and their integrity can be permanently damaged.
By being a person who thinks for themselves; conducts themselves with integrity, and remains open to continued learning, you are being an excellent role model for your child. Remember that this applies in all aspects of your personal and professional life, whether you are dealing with people in person, by telephone, or online.
Luisa Foliaki - Mother of MicroMe & MissyMe